A Moonless Night
by JessicaLeann3494
Summary: This is basically just New Moon in Edward's POV. I have always wondered how Edward felt through the whole thing and what all happend when he was gone, so I decided to write it. Begins at the beginning of the book. Please R&R.


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A/N: Ok this is my first attempt at writing anything. I just decided to try to write New Moon in Edward's POV, because I've always wondered what it was like for him to go through life without Bella. And there are a lot of Twilights in Edward's POV out there.

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, all the characters are Stephenie Meyer's.

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**Chapter 1- Bella's Birthday**

I was sprawled out on my couch listening to music when Alice came busting through my door. I quickly sat up. "Edward! Get up! Do you know what today is?" She yelled cheerfully while she flopped down on my couch beside me. Of course I knew what day it was. It was September 13th. Bella turned 18 today. Alice had been planning her party for the past few weeks. How could I forget that? Bella had made me promise not to wish her a happy birthday and wouldn't let me spend money on a present for her. She didn't want anyone to acknowledge it. For some reason she looked at her birthday as a black event. She was just turning 18 for goodness sakes, but she did have a point I guess. She was getting older. Every tick of the clock counted down the time I would have left with her. Something I didn't like to think about…

"Yes Alice. I know what today is." I said.

"Well then why aren't you getting ready for school?" She asked.

"Alice," I said frustrated by where my train of thought had just taken me. I glanced at my clock, "Get out of my room! We still have two hours before school starts!"

"Sooooo," She said, "You want to look nice for Bella on her birthday don't you?"

"Alice," I sighed, "I don't think Bella is going to care about what I wear. She's not a fashion freak like you!" I smiled and roughed her hair up playfully. "I don't think I could handle two Alices. One's enough for me." She scowled at me.

That was one of the things I loved about Bella; she didn't care about looks. I'm not saying that she didn't care what she looked like; it's just that she didn't really care what people thought about her. Personally I think Bella always looks beautiful in everything she wears, whether it's an oversized sweater and jeans or her blue blouse and khaki skirt.

"She'll love fashion one day. Trust me, Edward. I know these things!" She said tapping her head, showing me little glimpses of visions that she'd had of her and Bella shopping together. And with that she hopped off my couch and ran into my closet.

About two minutes later she came out with a simple black button up shirt and a pair of dark blue jeans. "Edward, I'm going to have to go shopping for you soon!" she said enthusiastically. I didn't understand what she loved so much about picking out other people's clothes, but I guess you just have to let Alice be Alice. And let that be the explanation; she's just Alice.

The two hours passed quickly and soon enough it was time to head off to school. It was just Alice and me now, since the others had graduated and were "away at college." We arrived early, as usual, and not wanting to stand in the rain we sat in my car waiting for Bella to get there. I was just sitting there listening to the rain hit the roof of the car when Alice's excited thoughts interrupted me.

"_I wonder if she'll like the decorations? Ooh I hope she does!! Hmm I think I'm going to use those Japanese lanterns Esme suggested. I hope I have enough time to set everything up before Bella gets there tonight. I hope she likes the presents that we got her!"_

I was getting tired of her rambling, so I interrupted her. "You know she's not going to be very happy about this anyways, so please just calm down. It's just her birthday. She didn't even want any of us to spend money on her."

"It's just her birthday!?!" she almost shrieked.

People walking by began to stare at us.

"Alice," I said, "Lower your voice! People are staring!"

"Sorry," she said sounding defeated. She looked down and began to play with the little silver box in her hands, "It's just that I don't remember having a sister and I didn't get to do any of this stuff with her. Edward, Bella is like a sister to me. I love her so much, and I just don't want her to miss out on anything. This could be her last birthday as a human." She then started to replay visions of me and Bella. Bella in the sun with her skin sparkling just like mine.

"You and I both." I muttered getting out of the car. Ignoring the last comment and trying to get the visions out of my head.

"Alice," I said through gritted teeth, "Stop." Suddenly the visions stopped.

"What?" She asked innocently.

"You know what!" I said somberly, looking her in the eyes.

"Fine." She said under her breath.

It would be a couple more minutes before Bella arrived, so I just leaned against my Volvo thinking about the visions that Alice had forced on me. Alice, her normal cheerful self again, was standing by my side holding one of Bella's presents in her hands. Her eyes held so much excitement, you would think she was a little kid meeting Santa Claus. I rolled my eyes at the sight. I knew that Bella was just going get mad that Alice was ignoring her wishes, but there is nothing you can do to stop the little pixie.

I could hear Bella's truck now. Soon enough she was pulling in the parking lot and parking. As soon as Bella caught sight of what was in Alice's hands she frowned. She slammed her door and slowly started to walk toward us. I just stood there watching as Bella came nearer. She was so beautiful. There was just something about her; some type of aura that she had. I had never been quite able to understand it.

Alice not being able to contain herself skipped forward to meet her.

"Happy birthday, Bella!" She yelled.

"Shh!" Bella hissed, glancing around, making sure nobody had heard Alice.

Alice ignored her, "Do you want to open your present now or later?" she asked eagerly as they made their way toward me.

"No presents," Bella mumbled.

Alice looked at her and seemed to sense that something was bothering her, so she let the present thing go…..for now.

"Okay…later, then. Did you like the scrapbook your mom sent you? And the camera from Charlie? She proceeded to ask her.

"Yeah. They're great." Bella replied, her mind elsewhere.

"_I_ think it's a nice idea. You're only a senior once. Might as well document the experience." Alice said thinking back to the first time she had been a senior.

"How many times have _you _been a senior?" Bella asked her.

"That's different."

They finally reached me and I held out my hand for Bella's. She took it and I gave her fingers a small squeeze, showing her that whatever was bothering her was going to be fine. She looked into my eyes and her heart began to skip beats. I smiled. I loved the sound of her heartbeat. It was a beautiful sound. I liked to listen to it, in fact that's what I did most nights after she had fallen asleep; listen to the steady rhythm of her heart. I lifted my other hand and traced the outside of her lips.

"So, as discussed, I am not allowed to wish you a happy birthday, is that correct?" I asked her smiling.

"Yes. That is correct."

"Just checking." I said. "You _might _have changed your mind. Most people seem to enjoy things like birthdays and gifts."

Alice laughed and chimed in, "Of course you'll enjoy it. Everyone is supposed to be nice to you and give you your way, Bella. What's the worst that could happen?"

"Getting older." Bella said shakily.

I could feel my smile tighten. That brought back the thoughts of this morning and I could hear my conscience saying: _Edward you don't have to let her get older. You could change her. She wants it. It wouldn't be a bad thing._

"_No!" I thought, "I will not be the one to end Bella's life for her."_

"Eighteen isn't very old," Alice said. " Don't women usually wait till they're twenty-nine to get upset over birthdays?"

"It's older than Edward," Bella replied and I sighed.

Alice kept going. "Technically," she said. "Just by one little year, though."

"What time will you be at the house?" Alice changed the subject, trying to sound nonchalant.

"I didn't know I had plans to be there." Bella said.

"Oh, be fair, Bella!" Alice started to complain, "You aren't going to ruin all our fun like that are you?"

"I thought my birthday was about what _I _want." Bella began, but I interrupted her. Alice looked hurt and it made me think about the conversation in the car.

"I'll get her from Charlie's right after school."

"I have to work," Bella objected.

Alice's face became smug, "You don't, actually," she said. "I already spoke to Mrs. Newton about it. She's trading your shifts. She said to tell you 'Happy Birthday.'"

"_I knew this would happen," _Alice thought, _"That's why I did it!!"_

While Alice was congratulating herself in her head, Bella was trying to think of an excuse. It was written all over her face.

"I---I still can't come over," She stammered, "I, well, I haven't watched _Romeo and Juliet _yet for English."

Alice snorted. "You have _Romeo and Juliet _memorized."

But Bella continued to try to get out of it. "But Mr. Berty said we needed to see if performed to fully appreciate it---that's how Shakespeare intended it to be presented."

I rolled my eyes and Alice stated. "You've already seen the movie."

"But not the nineteen-sixties version. Mr. Berty said it was the best."

Alice was starting to lose her patience and glared at Bella. "This can be easy, or this can be hard, Bella, but one way or the other---"

I decided to step in and interrupted her. "Relax, Alice. If Bella wants to watch a movie, then she can. It's her birthday."

"So there," Bella added thinking she had won. Alice looked at me with an almost hurt look on her face until she saw me wink at her so fast that Bella didn't even have time to catch it.

"I'll bring her over around seven," I continued to say. "That will give you more time to set up."

Alice laughed and started thanking me in her head, _"Thank you so much Edward!! I owe you one."_

And I had this weird feeling that I would be taking her up on the offer soon…

"Sounds good. See you tonight, Bella! It'll be fun, you'll see." Alice said aloud. And before Bella could respond to her she grinned, kissed her on the cheek, and danced off.

Then Bella started in on me. "Edward, please---" she was starting to beg and when Bella begged I had a very hard time telling her no, so I pressed a finger to her lips.

"Let's discuss it later. We're going to be late for class." I said ending the conversation.

And so we headed to class. The school day was pretty boring. The same as usual, but I was used to the repetition by now. Of course ever since Bella had come to Forks, well I should probably say ever since I had gotten to know her better, the school days for me had become more bearable in a way and less bearable in another. More bearable because she had made life interesting; now I had something to look forward to everyday. Less bearable because of her scent. It was intoxicating and very tempting. The scent of her blood was just as strong it was on the first day I had met her. It was still extremely hard for me to control myself around her, but I was learning to manage it a little better everyday. I hoped that maybe one day I would be able to overcome the demand that the monster inside me screamed for every second I was near her, but I knew that that was next to impossible.

All throughout the day I could tell that Bella was pondering ways to get out coming to the house tonight. She had this thoughtful face on all day and I just left her alone. I didn't say anything more on the subject. Between 1st and 2nd hour I had spoken to Alice. She showed me the vision that she had had of Bella calling Jessica and asking if she could "study" with her, so we decided that she would drive the Volvo home and I would drive Bella.

School finally ended and I walked with Bella to her truck and held the passenger door open for her--- No way that she was driving. She folded her small arms and made no move to get in. "It's my birthday, don't I get to drive? She asked.

"I'm pretending it's not your birthday, just as you wished." I told her smiling.

"If it's not my birthday, then I don't have to go to your house tonight…"

She did have a point there. "All right." I shut the door and walked to open the driver's side for her. "Happy birthday."

"Shh," She shushed me and climbed in. She looked a bit disappointed. I walked back to the other side and got in. She started the truck and pulled out of the lot. It was too quiet, so I decided to play with her stereo. I shook my head. Her stereo didn't work well at all. I don't know why she just won't let me buy her a new truck or car, but she always told me that her truck was just fine.

"Your radio has horrible reception." I told her.

She frowned. "You want a nice stereo? Drive your own car." She said sharply which caused me to have to press my lips together to hide a smile.

At last we got to her house and she parked. I reached over and carefully took her face in my hands. "You should be in a good mood, today of all days." I whispered letting my breath across her face.

Her breathing became uneven. "And if I don't want to be in a good mood?"

"Too bad." I said looking intently at her.

I leaned closer to her and pressed my lips on hers, trying to make her forget about whatever she had been worrying about. I let my lips linger on hers not wanting to leave the warmth. All of a sudden she wrapped her arms around my neck and threw herself even deeper into the kiss. I smiled and let go of her face. I reached back and unlocked her grip on me.

"Be good, please," I breathed and kissed her once more before pulling back again. Her heart was beating ninety miles a minute.

She put her hand over her heart "Do you think I'll ever get better at this? That my heart might someday stop trying to jump out of my chest whenever you touch me?

"I really hope not," I said smugly. I liked the effect that I had on her. If my heart still beat it would be the same as hers.

She rolled her eyes. "Let's go watch the Capulets and Montagues hack each other up, all right?"

"Your wish, my command." And I followed her into the house.

I lay on her couch while she was starting the movie. She fast forwarded though the credits and then sat on the edge of the sofa in front of me. I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her against me. And reached back and pulled the afghan off and covered her up. I didn't want her to freeze to death. The movie began.

"You know, I've never had much patience with Romeo." I stated.

"What's wrong with Romeo?" She sounded offended.

"Well, first of all, he's in love with this Rosaline--- don't you think it makes him seem a little fickle? And then, a few minutes after their wedding, he kills Juliet's cousin. That's not very brilliant. Mistake after Mistake. Could he have destroyed his own happiness any more thoroughly?"

She sighed. "Do you want me to watch this alone?"

"No, I'll mostly be watching you, anyway." I traced patterns on her arm. "Will you cry?"

"Probably," She said, "if I'm paying attention."

I smiled. "I won't distract you then."

And then I put my lips to her hair and started to watch the movie, whispering Romeo's lines to her. We were at the end of the movie (where Juliet awakes to see Romeo dead of poison) when she began to cry. I tried to comfort her, but it was so hard to keep from laughing. I tried to keep a straight face, but I know she could see right through it.

"I'll admit it, I do sort of envy him here." I told her while wiping away her tears.

"She's very pretty." Bella said assuming that I meant that I envied him because of Juliet.

I made a disgusted sound. Juliet had nothing on Bella. Bella was the most beautiful person that I had ever met; human or vampire.

"I don't envy him the _girl_---just the ease of the suicide." I said teasingly. "You humans have it so easy! All you have to do is throw down one tiny vial of plant extracts…."

"What?" She gasped.

"It's something I had to think about once, and I knew from Carlisle's experience that it wouldn't be simple. I'm not even sure how many ways Carlisle tried to kill himself in the beginning…after he realized what he'd become…" I said trying to keep my voice light. "And he's clearly still in excellent health."

Bella twisted around to look at me. "What are you talking about?" She demanded. "What do you mean, this something you had to think about once?"

"Last spring, when you were…nearly killed…" It was still so hard for me to talk about, but I took a deep breath and continued. "Of course I was trying to focus on finding you alive, but part of my mind was making contingency plans. Like I said, it's not as easy for me as it is for a human."

Bella shook her head, as if trying to deny what I had just told her.

"Contingency plans?" She repeated.

"Well, I wasn't going to live without you." I told her rolling my eyes. Wasn't it obvious? What had she expected me to do? I continued. "But I wasn't sure how to _do _it---I knew Emmett and Jasper would never help…so I was thinking maybe I would go to Italy and do something to provoke the Volturi." I began to think about all the plans that I had made; I wasn't really sure what I was going to do, but I would have done anything to get them to kill me. I could tell that Bella didn't want to believe me, but when she finally did she was mad.

"What is a _Volturi_?" She demanded to know.

"The Volturi are a family," I was still thinking about all the ways I could have made them mad, "A very old, very powerful family of our kind. They are the closest thing our world has to a royal family, I suppose. Carlisle lived with them briefly in his early years, in Italy, before he settled in America---do you remember the story?"

"Of course I remember."

"Anyway, you don't irritate the Volturi," I continued trying to get her mind off of whatever had her with that distant look in her eyes. "Not unless you want to die--- or whatever it is we do." I really wasn't sure where we went when we died. I was convinced that we went to hell, but Bella believed otherwise.

Bella looked at me with a look of horror on her face and she took my face between her two small warm hands.

"You must never, never, never think of anything like that again!" She said vehemently. "No matter what might ever happen to me, you are _not allowed_ to hurt yourself!"

"I'll never put you in danger again, so it's a moot point." I said trying to convince her and myself. I didn't know what it was with me today, but I just kept getting these weird feelings; like there was a change coming soon…

"_Put_ me in danger! I thought we'd established that all the bad luck is my fault?" She was getting angrier every second. "How dare you even think that?"

"What would you do, if the situation were reversed?" I asked.

"That's not the same thing." She replied.

I chuckled. It was the same thing and she knew it. She just didn't want to admit it.

"What if something did happen to you?" She countered, paling. "Would you want me to go _off_ myself?"

That hurt. Of course I would want her to go on with her life. She shouldn't even be wasting her time with me anyways, but she was here and I was too selfish to let her go. I decided to give up and let her win.

"I guess I see your point…a little," I acknowledged, "But what would I do without you?"

"Whatever you were doing before I came along and complicated your existence." She said.

I sighed. "You make that sound so easy."

"It should be. I'm not really that interesting." What Bella would never understand was that she was interesting. Very interesting. That was why I was drawn to her in the first place; she fascinated me. I was going to argue with her on that point, but just decided to let it go.

"_I hope pizza is okay with her. She shouldn't have to cook on her birthday. She really shouldn't have to cook at all; I should be the one doing it. I know I'll buy me some cooking magazines or books for beginners and read them while she's out…." _I pulled up into a formal position; making sure Bella and I were not touching any longer.

"Charlie?" Bella guessed. I just smiled at her. Then she reached out and took my hand. Charlie was pulling up and parking by now

It took him about two minutes to get into the house, and sure enough he had a pizza box with him.

"Hey, kids." He greeted, grinning at Bella. He continued. "I thought you'd like a break from cooking and washing dishes for your birthday. Hungry?"

"Sure. Thanks, Dad." She said.

We got up and followed him into the kitchen. I politely excused myself from dinner and while they ate I watched how they interacted with each other. They didn't really talk all that much. Even though Charlie really cared for Bella he rarely showed it. He simply did not know how. He would ask her a question every so often about things like how her day went, but he couldn't keep the conversation going for too long. When they were finished eating I asked Charlie, "Do you mind if I borrow Bella for the evening?"

Bella looked at her dad, hoping that his answer would be no, but she was disappointed.

"That's fine---the Mariners are playing the Sox tonight." He explained. "So I won't be any kind of company…Here." He continued throwing Bella's camera to her, but when it reached her fingers it hit them and headed toward the floor. I caught it right before it hit the floor; making sure that I was moving at human speed."Nice save," Charlie commented. "If they're doing something fun at the Cullens' tonight, Bella you should take some pictures. You know how your mother gets---she'll be wanting to see the pictures faster than you can take them."

"Good idea, Charlie," I agreed and handed Bella the camera. She turned it on me and snapped a picture.

"It works." She said.

"That's good, Hey, say hi to Alice for me. She hasn't been over in a while." Charlie told Bella frowning. Charlie really liked my sister; like another daughter. Of course Alice could worm her way into almost anyone's heart.

"It's been three days, Dad," Bella told Charlie. "I'll tell her."

"Okay. You kids have fun tonight." Charlie dismissed us as I smiled and triumphantly pulled Bella out of the kitchen.

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A/N: Liked it? Hated it? Review and tell me. =D The next chapter will be about the party, Bella getting stitches, and Edward taking her home. I'm not sure when it will be out, so just be on the look out for it. Oh yeah, and if I have any mistakes please tell me. I'm doing all of the editing myself…


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